This past Sunday, the priest at the parish I where I attend Mass was encouraging fathers in his parish. This parish contains a lot of strongly Catholic, traditional families and the men are doing well at raising their families.
One thing the priest said, which I kind of cringed at, was for fathers to make sure their daughters dress modestly "because we know how immodest dress affects us men."
The reason I cringed is not that that isn't true, but because when that is the only reason it causes problems.
There was no mention of being a living icon of Our Blessed Mother.
There was no mention of dignity, of personal decorum, of beauty, of propriety, of being a good witness.
Telling minor children, little girls that if their hemline isn't long enough or their shirts loose enough that GROWN MEN are going to lust after them is really scary for a child. I was scared enough of men already as a child, but to hear they all struggled with having predatory sexual feelings towards me if I wore a shoe with heels was sickening.
There are so many other beautiful and holy reasons to dress modestly. We veil that which is holy. But to narrow it down to grown men struggle to control themselves around little girls in shorts is only going to feel like a losing battle to young women and why they've just given up and wear whatever they want.
Seriously, if men, especially priests, understood how frightening, confusing, and gross it is to little girls to hear that grown men, men that are supposed to be good Catholics they can trust, struggle with sexual feelings towards them because their hemline was above the knee or their skirt was a bit tight because they grew since last year, or their budding breasts need a bra that hasn't been purchased yet, they would be more careful of how they approach this subject.
Making children gatekeepers of men's lust is not a good argument when there are so many better arguments for modesty out there.
