I had some thoughts recently about my walk as a Catholic concerning purgatory, sainthood, enjoying worldly things, and my responsibility as a Catholic. Let's have a conversation about them here.
Firstly, I had committed a venial sin because I was thinking in a more fun-loving, worldly mindset rather than a properly formed Godly one. I kind of lamented at how hard it is to be, well, perfect.
(Quick side note: when I was evangelical I thought I was darn near perfect. The idea that all our sins are washed away and we're not like those other guys really had me thinking I was this awesome person. And, if I did commit sins, most of the time I justified them rather than repented because I was too Christian for them to be my fault! I'm grateful Catholicism has helped me understand and grow in virtue. Also, it just reveals even more to me how amazing it is that Mary was/is sinless!)
At the same time, as I often do in frustration, I was talking to God about all my struggles and sorrows. Every time I do I "hear" the same thing from Him. "I want you to be a Saint." This is tough because I'm good with Purgatory. Striving towards instant Sainthood seems like a lot of hard work and I'm already exhausted just trying to be a halfway decent Catholic. But I hear the Lord calling me to strive toward Sainthood.
But, why, Lord?
It is the responsibility of every Catholic to strive towards Sainthood. Purgatory renders us helpless. We need the prayers of the faithful to help us in our purgation. However, when we strive for and achieve Sainthood, we have an unbroken line of service, intercession, suffering, and prayer for our fellow man. It isn't about me. It's about others!
I was flipping through SiriusXM stations and came across one that plays a lot of 90s music. It was a cute Janet Jackson song and I danced along in my truck as I drove down the road listening to it. I thought about how much I was enjoying this bit of secularism and it seemed harmless. I thought about if I could just get what certain family members see as "the religious stick up your butt" out and enjoy the life around me, maybe I wouldn't be so stressed and my family wouldn't be so uptight about what they perceive as me being "uptight" when, really, I stand against vulgarity, rudeness, sexual perversions, sins, etc.
Anyhow, worldly things aren't all vulgarity and glorifying sin. I might enjoy most secular music, but switch the station when a more icky song comes on. And anyone will tell you that worldly does not automatically equal wrong-doing or sinfulness. I think we are allowed to enjoy worldly things to a proper and well-discerned degree. So, what of those who've shunned worldliness? That's when I thought that while it isn't necessarily automatically wrong, sinful, or even unwise to enjoy worldly things, some Christians CHOOSE to abandon them for the Glory of God and to serve Him more closely.
That kind of helped me not be too scrupulous about enjoying life here on earth, especially with a worldly family that does practice any faith. There may be a time in my elder years where I will have more freedom to choose to abandon worldly things more fully in service to God and pursuit of sainthood. However, there is a responsibility towards that. Full-circling back to my venial sin, it is because of the temptations and influences of common worldly mindsets that I wasn't thinking and committed this sin. Had I better, more focused formation, I would have heeded the tiny voice in my conscience that told me to do otherwise. But, it was quickly squashed by the excitement and approval of others on a worldly standard.
Glory be to God that I can confess this and learn from it. Perhaps a good practice would be to allow for the discipline of austerity and heavenly focus during Lent, Advent, and St. Michael's Lent, while allowing a bit of (appropriate) worldly enjoyment during the rest of the Liturgical Year.
