A common question I see repeatedly among Catholic is the question surrounding illness and Mass attendance. When a priest answers the question on social media they often explain it in terms of an acute illness like the flu. When I began my Catholic journey the basic rule of thumb was that if you were too sick to leave your house for the store or work or going out with friends, then you were too sick for Mass. The problem with these answers is that it conflicts and confuses people with chronic illnesses.
If you live with a chronic illness you learn to live with pain and discomfort that would keep others in bed, so it can be hard to discern if today you are "bad enough" to need to miss Mass, or if you can just push through like any other day. I think it is good for each individual to respect the reality of their situation and set their own reasonable guidelines.
For example, I have IBS. On a regular basis, though not every day of my life, I feel a sense of constant urgency to use the bathroom. That is not enough to miss Mass (despite the fact that my church only has 1 bathroom and it is nearly constantly occupied by a rotation of small children) because I can typically ignore it and rely on other triggers to understand whether this is just the sense of urgency or I really have to go.
However, during a more potent flare the urgency has a greater likelihood of being real. But it can take a LONG time in the bathroom, and, if the flare is stronger, it is painful and, well, very smelly. And the urgency can quickly become an emergency. As such, I will likely have to stay home tomorrow. But, I can still run very short errands, if need be.
Some may say that is not good enough. I should be housebound. But, my parish is a good driving distance away through rural towns, and, as I said, only has one bathroom that is rarely available, certainly not for the upwards of 45 minutes it can take me to be able to stand up again.
Another is my migraines. I have "silent migraines" in that I have symptoms of migraines except the head pain. I may have a heaviness, dizziness, dullness, brain fog, or tired feeling, but not pain. I may even be able to function through it, if need be, but it only gets worse unless I take medicine, drink a ton of water, and take a nap.
But, it can mimic my symptoms of PMS (which aren't Mass excusable) so I have to be careful to determine if I am experiencing one if these migraines or just a hormone shift. Thankfully, a huge tell-tale sign is I am unsteady on my feet, struggle to genuflect, and/or the constant ringing in my ears gets MUCH louder.
And while I can push myself to function through these migraines, it is not a good idea because I can get much worse, and I have decided this has to be one if those excuses to miss Mass.
Another is if my sleep has been so disrupted that I begin hallucinating again. I have two sleep disorders that prevent me from getting enough restorative sleep. One of them is the part of my brain that deals with dreaming will actually start dreams without my having to fall fully asleep and go through a sleep cycle! As such I will start hallucinating. It is actually a harmless symptom because it isn't connected to a psychosis. BUT it is a symptom that alerts me that I am in desperate need of more sleep before I do get sick from lack of sleep.
Some people may think that because I technically can leave the house I should for Mass. Only bedridden illnesses should keep one home. But, I have decided that, for my own safety and wellness, if these things happen on a Sunday, it is ok for me to miss Mass.
Others with other chronic illnesses may have different thresholds. But, giving myself permission to miss Mass under these conditions actually helps me go to Mass under other circumstances because I can better discern my health rather than struggling with fear and guilt.
