Thank God for the Litany of Humility. Not much is more humbling than admitting to two school districts and a 3-county homeschool coordinator for the state that you suck at homeschooling your kids.
Yes, yes, I know. Homeschooling is more than getting kids to pass a standardized test, and our previous school district bears some responsibility for ignoring his struggles early on, plus we had that whole Covid fiasco happen right at a very crucial moment in my son's academic career, but, fact is, I don't have it in my anymore.
Between my health, the economy, our recent move, and the puberty monster, my boys have lost any and all ability to focus on school at home, mind their mother, and, well, provide me with the obedience and eagerness to learn that I need to spur me on. I've exhausted myself and it shows in their scores.
I love teaching and I love learning, but I haven't got it in me to battle these hormonal boys and our collective inability to freaking focus!!
I have way too much on my mind with work, the economy, and managing two households to make anything good come from homeschooling two boys who do NOT want to be educated at home.
Both boys admit that going back to school would be best for them. They admit their shortcomings and their disobedience. But, in a world of homeschool braggarts, I look like one of those cases that anti-homeschoolers use to prove their point. And, boy, is that a punch in the gut slice of humble pie.
Homeschooling was definitely easier for me when I didn't have to work and wasn't sick all the time and burned out.
Don't worry. This post isn't a pity party. I'm actually laughing at myself and VERY grateful to God for opening this up. As much as I miss home, if we were back in our hometown I would have had to continue homeschooling the boys because the high school there is not a good place. At least here the high school is about 2/3 smaller and rural. There isn't a constant stream of gang fights, weapons found, and police presence.
I've also noticed that when you are honest with other people and humble yourself they can be surprisingly gracious and even grateful.
