Advice to anyone dating or looking to date.
No shade to Trent Horne, love his opinions on most things. Just not dating. Same goes for Knowles too actually. But, listening to Joe Heschmeyer, I think he’s the first talking head over 30 that actually has decent advice on dating. He’s the first person older than myself who I’ve heard say “the dating market is actually as bad as you think” without trying to gaslight single people into thinking it’s not that bad and you just need to do better.
Having been someone who dated through the 2010s, I’ve dated before and after tinder, facebook, instagram and tik tok. I’ve dated girls I met in person, in facebook groups, off tinder, from church and even my moms friend setting me up with his daughter.
That being said, my slight caveats to Joes advice.
His advice about figure out your strength as a man and then find a woman who wants a man with that kind of strength is phenomenal advice. My caveat to that for men is that a staggering amount of women have no idea what type of strength they want. Many fall victim to social media and think they want the 6 foot 6 guy because Instagram says they should, but they actually have a deep need for someone who can provide financially. So as a man it will often take work to figure out what kind of man a woman actually wants. My fiance and I went to high school and didn’t date back then because we both didn’t think we were the kind of person we wanted and many years later we’ve realized that was not correct.
Advice for women, think deeply about the kind of man you actually want and not just follow social media.
As to how to get to know a girl, I think dating apps are good if you’re both mature and pretty self aware. If you’re both there not looking to play games, you can pretty quickly know who is and isn’t worth your time. I’ve seen multiple successful marriages happen this way among friends.
Though I think in person is still better, and I say this knowing full well how difficult that is. Joe acknowledged that social interaction in person is difficult. And it is. Again, it is as bad as you think. The thing I’d say to this is aggressively widen your social circles. I know this is easier for extroverts, but you’re just gonna have to decide how serious you are about this. Go places that the kind of girl you want is. Not that you’ll pick someone up at the gym, but if you want a fit girl, be fit yourself and then when you meet a girl through a friend of a friend and she’s fit, you have that in common and it’s something to talk about. Same goes for church events, hobbies, qnd anything else. It’s good to meet someone and see each other in a more neutral space, get to know each other without any pressure and maybe date later if you think it’s worth a shot.
