Matt Fradd
Spirituality/Belief • Books • Writing
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He Could Barely Stand—So Christ Stood in Him: On the Terror and Tenderness of Holy Ground in a Humble Novus Ordo

I think I just witnessed a priest go into ecstasy during the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass. And to humble my pride—it was a Spanish Novus Ordo.

The priest had advanced Parkinson’s or something debilitating. He could barely walk without the heavy support of two altar servers—big men—at his side. Before Mass, they had to physically hoist him out of the confessional. Small congregation; thirty people, max!The Mass lasted two and a half hours! I would’ve been OK if it lasted eight hours. No peasantry per se. Just raw, unfiltered reverence. And to think, I was secretly planning on not attending today due to back pain as I felt sorry for myself.

He reminded me of a mixture of Fr. Stu, Padre Pio, and St. Josemaría Escrivá—but he was entirely his own.

He was both deeply traditional and profoundly charismatic at the same time—a paradox made flesh.

He wore a maniple—an unmistakable sign of tradition, of solemnity, of a priest bound to the altar in sacrifice. And yet, from the pulpit, he was a jolly, rambunctious child. He preached with fire, with tears, with laughter. He joked freely, his voice rising and falling with emotion, utterly unguarded—as if he had forgotten himself entirely in the presence of God.

He whispered the entire Roman Canon—barely audible—yet savored each word like it was the rarest feast. And when he reached the part where he invoked each saint, he didn’t just recite their names. He greeted them. One by one. As though they stood before him, face-to-face.

Every action he performed required the steady hand of an altar server—grasping the Gospel, reaching for the chalice, genuflecting. But during the consecration, he held up the Lord on his own.

His face nearly glowed during the consecration. And somehow, he was casual—not irreverent, but casual in the way a man is when speaking to someone he has loved intimately for a lifetime. He never broke his canonical digits after the consecration—his fingers held in reverence for the Eucharist—but he was still personable with every person he made eye contact with.

I was so deeply moved by his presence. I’ve never experienced anything like it. And yet, I could barely understand one in three words of the rapid Cuban(?) Spanish he spoke. But my heart was going to burst. I’m still so overwhelmed.

I almost feel like this experience is too sacred to even type out. Such love.

He refused to allow any extraordinary ministers of Holy Communion, insisting he alone would distribute the Eucharist. But each person who came forward wasn’t just receiving Communion—they were having an encounter. A moment uniquely personal, yet equally shared. And the priest himself seemed just as mesmerized as everyone else.

Every time he lifted the Eucharist, he gazed at HIM as if it were his first time—beholding Christ anew. I dared not to present myself for communion—not out of shame but awe—I wanted to remove my shoes.

And then—when the altar boy passed by with the crucifix—he began to weep. He looked at it as if he were standing at the foot of Calvary.

I know a priest’s personality should disappear into the liturgy—that we should not be distracted by him. But this was a holy distraction. Like an icon-drenched church where beauty itself lifts the soul to God. It was as if he had become one with Christ, reflecting some unique ray of the Holy Spirit.

I don’t know how to put it into words.
I sobbed.
I could still cry just thinking about it.

Even now, I feel—off. My heart wants to leap out of my chest. My blood pressure must be high or low or something, because I don’t feel normal.

I want just a drop of his holiness. Because for him, the Saints, Our Lady, and Our Lord weren’t abstractions—they were as real as the altar servers, the people in the pews, the very air he breathed.

And I want that.

Or at least—I want to want that.

That priest didn’t just say Mass; he became the altar, and Christ’s uncreated energy shone through him unfiltered.
He whispered the Canon, and the Heavens roared.

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Day 5 of Advent

THE ERROR OF ARIUS ABOUT THE INCARNATION

In their eagerness to proclaim the unity of God and man in Christ, some heretics went to the opposite extreme and taught that not only was there one person, but also a single nature, in God and man. This error took its rise from Arius. To defend his position that those scriptural passages where Christ is represented as being inferior to the Father, must refer to the Son of God Himself, regarded in His assuming nature, Arius taught that in Christ there is no other soul than the Word of God who, he maintained, took the place of the soul in Christ’s body. Thus when Christ says, in John 14:28, “The Father is greater than I,” or when He is introduced as praying or as being sad, such matters are to be referred to the very nature of the Son of God. If this were so, the union of God’s Son with man would be effected not only in the person, but also in the nature. For, as we know, the unity of human nature arises from the union of soul and body.

The...

Day 5 of Advent
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Day 1 of Advent

RESTORATION OF MAN BY GOD THROUGH THE INCARNATION

We indicated above that the reparation of human nature could not be effected either by Adam or by any other purely human being. For no individual man ever occupied a position of pre-eminence over the whole of nature; nor can any mere man be the cause of grace. The same reasoning shows that not even an angel could be the author of man’s restoration. An angel cannot be the cause of grace, just as he cannot be man’s recompense with regard to the ultimate perfection of beatitude, to which man was to be recalled. In this matter of beatitude angels and men are on a footing of equality. Nothing remains, therefore, but that such restoration could be effected by God alone.

But if God had decided to restore man solely by an act of His will and power, the order of divine justice would not have been observed. justice demands satisfaction for sin. But God cannot render satisfaction, just as He cannot merit. Such a service pertains to one who ...

Day 1 of Advent

Hello Community, I am asking for an urgent prayer request. My daughter was admitted to the Youth Crisis Recovery Center in my city last night after a session with her therapist uncovered some pretty severe "intrusive thoughts" of self-harm. We have not even reached out to our families because of the sensitive nature of the situation and her desire for privacy. I figured this place was the most faith-filled and anonymous place I could go. Please pray for her, my husband and me, and the rest of our children as we navigate this scary place. I feel a distinct lack of faith in this place and I'm trying to figure out how to get her the help she needs knowing that they will probably not be relying on the healing graces of God.

Meme Monday!

Go! Go! Go!

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Big Chesterton Cigars Event! (Fri 25 April - Sun 27 April)

Join us for an unforgettable weekend of cigars, conversation, music, and meaningful reflection at Chesterton’s Cigars, April 25–27 in Steubenville, OH. From live bands and inspiring lectures to a guided cigar tasting, this event will be a celebration of friendship, faith, and relaxation. I’ll be there, along with Dr. Scott Hahn and other special guests. Whether you come for the theology, the tobacco, or the camaraderie, there’ll be something for everyone. Come raise a glass—and a cigar—with us.

 

Friday, April 25th, 2025

 
6:00 PM – Evening Opening Prayer
Fr. Damian Ference will begin the evening with an opening prayer.
6:15 PM – Kickoff Speech by John Walker
John Walker will officially open the event with a speech, reflecting on the spirit of Chesterton’s and the significance of this cigar launch.
6:45 PM - 8:00 PM – Mingling & Cigars
Enjoy an evening of conversation, cigars, and great company as we kick off the weekend.
8:00 PM - 10:00 PM – Jazz Night
A performance by Chesterton’s “House” Jazz Band that performs here on a weekly basis for our popular Jazz Nights. Comprised of all local musicians
10:00 PM - 11:00 PM – Live Music by Emma & David Kruise
A live performance from Emma and David Kruise
11:00 PM - 1:00 AM – open mic/mingling until close
 

Saturday, April 26th, 2025

 
8:00 AM – Mass at St. Peter’s
425 N 4th St, Steubenville, OH
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Featuring the Chesterton Cigar and Coffee from Leonardo’s Coffee House in Steubenville
11:30 AM – Pipe Tobacco & Tin Fish Luncheon
Tins and tins! Enjoy conversation over a pipe and some tinned fish w/ accoutrements
12:30 PM - 3:00 PM - lectures and discussion
Lectures and readings from special guests of Chesterton’s including Joe Grabowski, VP of Evangelization and Mission at the Chesterton Society, John Walker
3:00 PM - 5:00 PM - break
5:00 PM - 7:00 PM – Dinner
Dine at one of Steubenville’s local favorites before the evening’s festivities.
7:00 PM – Evening Prayer and kick-off
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7:30 PM – Panel & Tasting Event
A slot dedicated to the story of Chesterton’s founding, the inspiration behind the Pints with Aquinas and Chesterton’s Cigar, and a guided cigar tasting.
 

Sunday, April 27th, 2025

 
10:00 AM – Mass at St. Peter’s
Close the weekend with Sunday Mass at St. Peter’s Catholic Church.
11:00 AM - 3:00 PM – Brunch & Farewell Gathering
A grand finale to the weekend—join us for raw oysters, Bloody Marys, and other delectable brunch offerings to wrap up the weekend.
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The Queen and The Witch (A Fairy Tale)

I read fairy tales to my kids all the time, so I figured I’d try writing one myself. I’m a bit embarrassed to share it—I really want it to be good (or at least decent), but I’m not sure it is.

Here’s what I do know: if I don’t post it now, it’ll probably sit in my drafts until I forget it even exists. But if I share it publicly, I’ll have to own it—and that makes it way more likely I’ll keep editing until I’m happy with it, maybe even write more.

So if you’re up for it, I’d love your feedback. Critiques, suggestions, or just letting me know what you liked—it all helps. Thanks for reading.


In a certain kingdom, in a certain land, there lived a boy named Peter. Though the world called him a prince, he cared more for mud puddles and beetles than for gold or grandeur. Each day, he wandered the royal gardens, collecting feathers, following ant trails, and speaking with birds in a language that only he and they knew.

One morning, his mother—the Queen—kissed his brow and knelt to look him in the eyes. She wore her cloak of sapphire and silver, and her voice was steady but kind. “I must go away for three days, my love,” she said. “There are matters in the outer provinces that need my attention. While I’m gone, stay within the garden walls. Speak only with the wind, the birds, and those who belong here. Everything you need is here at home. And above all, do not wander into the dark wood.”

Then she rose, mounted her horse, and rode out through the castle gates, her cloak trailing like a ribbon of blue light.

That first morning, after the Queen had left, Peter found himself near the edge of the royal gardens. The trees of the dark woods stood just beyond the wall, tall and still, their trunks fading into shadow.

He knew he shouldn’t. He could almost hear his mother’s voice: Stay within the garden walls, my love... But the air felt different—cooler, quieter. And then, on the breeze, he heard it: a female voice, low and lilting, like a lullaby she was singing to herself, not meant for anyone to hear.

“Give me your eyes, and I’ll show you the stars.
Give me your heart, and I’ll sing you to sleep.
Give me your name, and you’ll never be hungry again.”

Peter stopped. The voice was soft, but close.

“Who’s there?” he whispered. No one answered. Only the leaves stirred.

His feet moved before he realized—one step, then another, as if the trees were pulling him forward. The garden wall faded behind him. The light dimmed. Shadows thickened. And then, between two trunks, he saw her. Cloaked in sapphire and silver, her face just visible in the dappled gloom. It was her—it had to be. His mother.

“Mother?” he called, relief blooming in his chest. He ran toward her.

She turned and smiled. Her voice was soft and sweet, but it clung to him, sticky and strange.

“Dearest,” she said, bending low, “give me your eyes, and I’ll show you the stars. The world is so dark, and you deserve to see its wonders as I do.”

For a moment, Peter wanted to believe her. But something in her face didn’t sit right, like a song played with one wrong note. Her shadow stretched the wrong way, and her breath smelled of rust.

He froze. The warmth draining from his body.

“You are not my Mother,” he said slowly. “And my Father is the King”

Her face began to blur, like the surface of a pond just after something moved through it. The blue of her cloak faded to dull gray, and her eyes lost their shine, darkening to something flat and cold. Then, without a word, she turned and slipped away into the wind, as if she had never been there at all.

The next morning, Peter sat beneath the old maple tree at the center of the garden, staring at the grass, twisting a fallen leaf between his fingers. “Did I dream it?” he asked aloud. “Did I imagine the woods? The Woman? The song?” The garden made no reply. Maybe he had fallen asleep by the wall. Maybe it had all been a strange sort of dream. He was just starting to believe that—when he heard it again. The same strange tune, drifting from the trees.

“Give me your eyes, and I’ll show you the stars.
Give me your heart, and I’ll sing you to sleep.
Give me your name, and you’ll never be hungry again.”

Before he realized it, Peter had stepped beyond the garden wall, drawn deep into the dark wood—as though his feet belonged to someone else, as though another will entirely guided his steps—until he found himself standing beneath the crooked elm, where she waited. Her silver robe hung limp and wet, her hair tangled with leaf and moss. Her hands were folded, and her voice, when she spoke, was barely more than a breath.

“Poor boy,” she murmured, not looking at him. “Give me your heart, and I’ll sing you to sleep.”

Peter felt drowsiness wash over him, tempting him to surrender—but then he shook himself awake, eyes clearing.

“You are not my mother,” he said firmly, “and my Father is the King.”

The witch's gentle expression twisted into a disappointed frown, and without another word, she faded into the shadows, leaving only silence behind.

On the third day, the witch returned, her enchanting song luring Peter back into the dark forest.

“Give me your eyes, and I’ll show you the stars.
Give me your heart, and I’ll sing you to sleep.
Give me your name, and you’ll never be hungry again.”

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What the Heck Is Antisemitism, Anyway?
(A Socratic Dialogue)

I recently posted this quotation from Pope Paul VI to Youtube:

“Furthermore, in her rejection of every persecution against any man, the Church, mindful of the patrimony she shares with the Jews and moved not by political reasons but by the Gospel's spiritual love, decries hatred, persecutions, displays of anti-Semitism, directed against Jews at any time and by anyone.”

And, oh man, was the feedback fun. Within minutes, I was accused of everything from cozying up to The Daily Wire to desperately chasing subscribers to—and maybe I shouldn’t be surprised—being under the influence of Jewish money.

But one question kept coming up: What is antisemitism? One commenter put it this way:

“How about having a clear definition of what the word means? Is that too much to ask? Because quite frankly, every time I look it up, it's never really clear. Words have meaning. Or at least they should. If the M word for taking a life was used, and someone is accused of it, everyone knows what it means. But imagine it's not clear what it means. And someone out of nowhere accused someone of it, but the definition keeps changing or is not clear—what then?”

Fair enough. So, to help clarify, I’ve written a Socratic dialogue exploring what I antisemitism is—and what it isn’t.

One quick note before you read on—I assure you, I’m writing this in good faith. I know this topic is deeply important to many people, including my fellow Catholics. This article is simply my attempt to articulate what seems obvious to me, not a middle finger at those who disagree.

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