A few times over the past month, I’ve said things I’ve regretted. Probably more than a few times, I’ve said things I should regret but don’t—either because I haven’t realized they were regrettable or because I’ve already forgotten them.
And when you have a large YouTube channel like I do, those regrets can feel all the more magnified. It’s one thing to say something thoughtless or stupid in a private conversation, but it’s another to have your words out there permanently for thousands—sometimes millions—of people to hear. I also am embarrassed to admit—despite the countless teachings of the saints, which we’ll get into below—that I don’t often reflect on just how powerful speech really is. Fr. Basil Nortz, says, “speech is one of the noble prerogatives of our human nature. It is a great dignity, and like all great dignities, it carries a great responsibility.” But that, right there. That sentiment? I almost never think about that.
I know, in principle, that words shape reality, relationships, and even our own souls. But I don’t think I’ve ever, for a sustained period, deliberately refrained from speaking while around other people. The idea of choosing silence—of being intentional about when to speak and when not to—often feels foreign to me. Mea culpa.
I want to get better at this.
St. James, in one of the most striking passages in the New Testament, warns:
"If anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is a perfect man, able also to bridle his whole body... The tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness... It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison." (James 3:2, 6, 8)
Or what about this from our Blessed Lord:
“I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak, for by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.” (Matthew 12:36-37)
Nervous yet?
Our speech can build up or destroy, lead others to truth or error, and even shape the kind of people we become. The saints, in their wisdom, saw both the necessity of guarding our tongues and the spiritual power of silence. Their words challenge us to rethink how we use speech and to embrace silence as a means of growing in virtue.
Here are ten insights from the saints on the importance of guarding our tongues and cultivating holy silence. Let me know which one struck you below.
St. John of the Cross: “What we need most in order to make progress is to be silent before this great God with our appetite and with our tongue, for the language he best hears is silent love.” (Sayings of Light and Love, n. 132)
St. Faustina: “In order to hear the voice of God, one has to have silence in one's soul and to keep silence; not a gloomy silence but an interior silence; that is to say, recollection in God.” (Diary of St. Faustina, n. 118)
St. Benedict: “Speaking and teaching are the master's task; the disciple is to be silent and listen.” (Rule of St. Benedict, Ch. 6, "Restraint of Speech")
St. Francis de Sales: “Speak only when it is more beneficial than silence.” (Introduction to the Devout Life, Part III, Ch. 30)
St. Augustine: “The tongue should be restrained, like steam in a pot, so that words do not boil over rashly.” (Exposition on Psalm 39)
St. Thomas Aquinas: “A man’s speech is good insofar as it is ordered to good.” (Summa Theologica, II-II, q. 110, a. 1)
St. Teresa of Ávila: “I could not understand what good it did to keep filling the world with words.” (The Way of Perfection, Ch. 20)
St. Arsenius the Great: “I have often regretted the words I have spoken, but I have never regretted my silence.” (Sayings of the Desert Fathers, Arsenius 13)
St. Isaac the Syrian: “Love silence above all things, because it brings you near to fruit that the tongue cannot express.” (Ascetical Homilies, Homily 64)
St. Basil the Great: “Speech is the organ of this present world, but silence is the mystery of the world to come.” (Homily on Psalm 28)
Okay. Now I’m going to go inside (I’m writing this out on my porch) and try to implement point number 4. Pray for me, please. And I’ll pray my rosary tonight for all who will read this.
