Matt Fradd
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Proposing New Ways to Help Understand Chastity — Part 5: How the Appetite Might Be a Blessing Even for Those Called to Celibacy or Virginity

Lately, I was watching more YouTube videos on Christopher West’s Theology of the Body Institute channel, and I came across “What Do Celibates Do With Their Sexual Urge?” and “Did Jesus Have Sexual Desires?”. The former video even featured our guy Matt Fradd as Christopher’s guest speaker. The videos’ topics reminded me of a thought experiment I once mulled over, about what purposes the sexual appetite could have for someone, whom God is calling to celibacy/virginity.

For a while, this thought experiment was difficult for me to come up with answers for, since having sexual desire at all seemed pointless or even a curse, if someone’s lifelong vocation calls for them to not ever have any relations. I wanted to figure out how to answer it, so that I could more unconditionally see the sexual appetite as a good gift from God and better look to celibate/virgin saints as approachable role models for chastity. That is, without the unintended implication that said saints are role models, simply because they “threw away” or “repressed” such desires altogether. Also, I have felt sympathy towards some Protestants, whenever they express how it would be easier for them to find Mary fully approachable, if her and Joseph did have typical relations and other children after Jesus’ virginal birth.

To tackle this thought experiment, I decided to go straight to analyzing what purposes such yearnings could have had for the Virgin Mary herself, the greatest of all saints, whose grace made her akin to Adam and Eve before Original Sin and whose very title alludes to the perpetual virginity in her calling. After thinking about it for a while, these were the observations and potential answers I noticed:

1.) Because the capacity to desire that physical union was part of Adam and Eve from the very beginning and not a product of the Fall, it would only be natural for Mary the “New Eve” to possess it too (and in its original purity). Any such desires that Mary potentially possessed would have been untainted by sin, per Catholicism’s doctrine of the Immaculate Conception. So it would have been perfectly aligned with God’s will and not have had vices or disorders like Lust mixed in. In turn, the unmet appetite would not have been prone to becoming a stumbling block for Mary.

2.) Although Mary’s calling was to perpetual virginity as the mother of Jesus, Mary still had free will and was entrusted with the ability to choose otherwise. I heard Trent Horn arguing that the Immaculate Conception was also important for ensuring Mary could consent to such a mission, without having her mind clouded by disordered desires or a fear that God would be displeased should she say “no”. If God wanted Mary to choose this mission freely, then I imagine it was important for God to let Mary still have full ability to recognize, appreciate, and even pursue the joys of a more typical marriage. That way, she is not just choosing perpetual virginity out of being denied knowledge of the alternatives.

3.) Even after Mary made the choice to serve God as a perpetual virgin, I imagine having the capacity for such yearnings could still serve a purpose, one of which being how anyone can respond to unmet desires in a way that directly draws them to a greater appreciation of God. For example, Mary could have chastely recognized the physically attractive beauty of the men around her, recognized the beauty of the full person from there, then further oriented her mind towards appreciating the Creator behind such beauty. I reminded myself that one does not need to “possess” or “experience” everything they find desirable firsthand, in order to be enriched by their ability to appreciate something beautiful and praise God for its existence (I might make a post sharing one of my personal examples of this broader idea). When I began to define sexual gratification as the initiation and continual nourishment of that marital bond, rather than merely a “relief”/“release”/“outlet” for one’s internal sexual urges, it became easier for me to adopt my previous sentence’s mentality towards that bodily communion.

4.) For all I know, Mary could have had chances to counsel men and other woman about their romantic yearnings, by drawing from her own perceptions and experiences. According to John 21:25, “Jesus did many other things as well. If every one of them were written down, I suppose that even the whole world would not have room for the books that would be written”. Would not the same be true for Mary? Her lack of a struggle with concupiscence might, at first, make her seem less helpful a mentor to someone striving for chastity. But that same Immaculate Conception would presumably allow her to more clearly see the good things people’s hearts are truly yearning for beneath the appetite. Would Mary’s unclouded vision of those good things not also be an invaluable perspective for someone to know, if they were seeking advice and moral support in their quest for chastity?

5.) Finally, if Mary had the same capacity to desire that one-flesh union herself, it could have been an opportunity for her to feel greater joy for those who are called to typical marriage, in turn adding to her relationships with God and other people. If a celibate person were to experience what the draw of sexual intimacy feels like, he could see his feelings as a chance to be all the more happy for those called to lovingly partake in the marital act. That is, rather than pessimistically seeing and lamenting it, as a reminder of what he has denied himself in his earthly life. I imagine Mary’s grace and faith would make it easier for her to similarly respond, by harboring greater happiness for any woman called to “know” a particular man (or vice versa), plus trusting that God will bring about that ultimate fulfillment in the end either way. Not to mention, this could further benefit my #4 point, since Mary’s potential secondhand joy could make her an even more encouraging person to have mentoring and praying for someone called that kind of union.

Using my musings on Mary as a template, I can summarize these reasons why the appetite can still be a gift even for one called to celibacy. It can help ensure that the person was fully capable of understanding and pursuing the joys of marriage, thus making their choice to pursue a celibate vocation a more free and meaningful one than it otherwise would be. Even if they are to never have sex, they can still use their inclinations to help themselves further recognize and appreciate the beauty in which God made man, thus growing closer to God. And living with the same appetite as people called to marital intimacy can enable a celibate person to be a more helpful and encouraging mentor for said people, plus harbor and express greater happiness for them. That is, rather than such a person turning their unmet appetite into a source of jealousy, envy, and/or self-repression. To quote a certain children’s-book-turned-animated-short-film, “One of our greatest freedoms is how we react to things”.

EDIT — Shortly after I made and uploaded this post, Christopher West uploaded this video, in which he brings up a few things I only alluded to here as my extra side-points, then articulates them in a better, deeper, and more expansive way than I ever could:

"A Proper Understanding of Mary's Virginity: Sexuality, Desire, and Divine Union"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=voEX0U8RAtQ

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A lot of folks have to decide, at one point or another, where they are going to live and what parish they are going to attend. At times you might be torn between growing where you're planted and moving to where you're nourished. I was in Tulsa this past weekend with a really excellent community, and it sparked some though on the theme.

Also, I have a new book out. You can find it here: https://www.amazon.com/Your-Eucharistic-Identity-Sacramental-Fullness/dp/162164796X/ref=sr_1_1?crid=2ELJ81ZJUVT1G&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.HRZlgfwsmxjGFj1ePRw-OgluBhzhKL7XiQCNKyHEK_s.V0RluCVNmFRjkIZWue1otfyktDPiZN_QnWrjE_LTPtU&dib_tag=se&keywords=your+eucharistic+identity+gregory+pine&qid=1756821967&sprefix=your+eucharistic+%2Caps%2C107&sr=8-1

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WATCH: Intro to Marian Consecration

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Sometimes we have it in our mind that we need to offer the Lord a perfect gift of ourselves if it's going to count for something. Aware of our various attachments and imperfections, we put off making the gift until such time as we are in a position to make a more pleasing sacrifice. My counsel to you is to offer what you have at present, even if it's imperfect. Because that's the git you actually have and that's the gift in which the Lord actually delights : )

Here's the link for the book: https://www.amazon.com/Your-Eucharistic-Identity-Sacramental-Fullness/dp/162164796X/ref=sr_1_1?crid=1SME6J5KYKVXI&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.HRZlgfwsmxjGFj1ePRw-OgluBhzhKL7XiQCNKyHEK_s.V0RluCVNmFRjkIZWue1otfyktDPiZN_QnWrjE_LTPtU&dib_tag=se&keywords=your+eucharistic+identity+gregory+pine&qid=1755616701&sprefix=your+eucharistic%2Caps%2C94&sr=8-1

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THE ERROR OF ARIUS ABOUT THE INCARNATION

In their eagerness to proclaim the unity of God and man in Christ, some heretics went to the opposite extreme and taught that not only was there one person, but also a single nature, in God and man. This error took its rise from Arius. To defend his position that those scriptural passages where Christ is represented as being inferior to the Father, must refer to the Son of God Himself, regarded in His assuming nature, Arius taught that in Christ there is no other soul than the Word of God who, he maintained, took the place of the soul in Christ’s body. Thus when Christ says, in John 14:28, “The Father is greater than I,” or when He is introduced as praying or as being sad, such matters are to be referred to the very nature of the Son of God. If this were so, the union of God’s Son with man would be effected not only in the person, but also in the nature. For, as we know, the unity of human nature arises from the union of soul and body.

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Day 5 of Advent
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RESTORATION OF MAN BY GOD THROUGH THE INCARNATION

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Prayers for Marian Consecration

You will need this PDF for each of the 33 days leading up to your consecration.

At the end of each daily meditation you will be asked to say a few prayers. All of those prayers are here in this PDF

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Thank you everyone for your prayers regarding the spiritual attack. I just wanted to further update everyone...While the spiritual component seems to be done or mostly done, the physical backlash is intense. Now my husband, myself, and my son, all seem to be sick with something akin to hand foot and mouth disease despite our son not being in settings where that's expected. Somehow my husband and I didn't build immunity to it despite having it as children...I was supposed to go to confession today and have a priest help me pray against the spiritual warfare but I'm afraid I'm contagious, and I'm not in driving condition. Please keep up the prayers for us to get through this and for me to get to confession and prayers with Father. Thank you again for all of the prayers so far.

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What St. Thomas Means by "Curiosity"

In today's livestream I spoke about the sin of curiosity. In this article, I thought I'd sum it up for you in case I didn't do it well in the livestream.

You can read Thomas' own words here, btw. 

For Aquinas, “curiosity” is not simply the healthy desire to know the truth. He distinguishes between the virtue of studiositas—the ordered pursuit of knowledge—and the vice of curiositas, which is the disordered pursuit of knowledge.

Curiosity becomes a vice when we seek knowledge in the wrong way or for the wrong reasons: for pride, idle speculation, gossip, or knowledge that leads us away from God rather than toward Him. For example, indulging in occult practices, probing into sinful matters for fascination, or prying into things that are none of our business (all of social media, or just most?) are all ways that curiosity corrupts the good of knowledge. In other words, knowledge itself is good, but the way we desire, seek, and use it can be distorted.

Aquinas says that curiosity can show itself in several ways: when someone prefers trivial knowledge over what would truly benefit their soul (c'mon ... this is how many people live their lives), when one seeks knowledge to boast or to sin, when one is distracted by an endless hunger for new information at the expense of wisdom, or when one turns to forbidden sources of knowledge.

By contrast, the virtue of studiousness disciplines the intellect so that we seek truth for its own sake, for God’s glory, and for the service of others. Thus, Aquinas sees curiosity not as the love of learning itself, but as the disorder of that love—an appetite for knowing that forgets the proper end of knowledge, which is to lead us to truth and ultimately to God.

So here's a challenge for you and me: What is one practical way that we can avoid curiosity and grow in studiousness?

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33 Days of Preparation for Marian Consecration on Locals – Starts Sept 4

Hey everyone!

Beginning September 4th, our Locals community will enter into 33 days of spiritual preparation for total consecration to Jesus through Mary. 

We will conclude together on October 7th, the Feast of Our Lady of the Holy Rosary.

Here’s how it will unfold on Locals:

- We will be guided by Fr. Boniface Hicks’ beautiful book, The Fruit of Her Womb: 33-Day Preparation for Total Consecration to Jesus Through Mary. (I’ve received special permission from the publisher to share it with Locals members.)

- A daily meditation and prayer will be posted each day for the 33 days.

- To accompany us, Fr. Boniface will provide several exclusive videos recorded just for Locals, offering guidance and encouragement along the way.

This is an opportunity to consecrate—or renew your consecration—to Jesus through Mary in the company of a prayerful community, with the wisdom of a priest who has written deeply on this devotion.

Mark your calendar: We begin September 4th.

You can purchase a copy of the book here: https://www.amazon.com/33-Day-Preparation-Total-Consecration-Through/dp/1644138409

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A Practical Method For Spiritual Warfare
 
In this article, I want to suggest a powerful, practical method for spiritual warfare—one that I believe will be a game-changer in your everyday life. We'll explore how consistently announcing what is true and renouncing what is false can become a potent weapon, helping you navigate the unseen battles that often manifest as struggles in our thoughts and emotions.
 
At the Catholic Easter Vigil Mass, there is a significant moment where the congregation renews their Baptismal Promises.

In essence, the priest leads the faithful to announce what is true and to renounce what is false.

For the purposes of this article we’ll begin with the questions that invite annunciations. He asks:

"Do you believe in God, the Father almighty, Creator of heaven and earth?"

"Do you believe in Jesus Christ, his only Son, our Lord, who was born of the Virgin Mary, suffered death and was buried, rose again from the dead and is seated at the right hand of the Father?"

"Do you believe in the Holy Spirit, the holy Catholic Church, the communion of saints, the forgiveness of sins, the resurrection of the body, and life everlasting?"

In responding “I do” to these questions, we are in a very real sense aligning ourselves with reality. While emotions may be present, they don’t need to be. Simply stating our agreement with the way things are is enough.

Prior to the above questions are a series of questions which invite renunciation:

"Do you renounce sin, so as to live in the freedom of the children of God?"

"Do you renounce the lure of evil, so that sin may have no mastery over you?"

"Do you renounce Satan, the author and prince of sin?"

In responding “I do” to these questions, we are renouncing, repudiating, what is false.

To those who may attend Holy Mass once or twice a year they may be surprised to discover just how seriously the Church takes the reality of the Devil and spiritual warfare. But anyone somewhat familiar with the Scriptures and the consistent teaching of the Church would not be. Here I could dump a multitude of Scriptural verses proving my point, but one will suffice. From the first letter of St. Peter:

"Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world."

And now for the main point of this article: Just as it is beneficial to regularly align ourselves with what is true (say through an act of faith), it is also beneficial to regularly repudiate, and disassociate with, what is false.

And given that our lives are situated squarely within a world at war. A world which “lies in the power of the evil one.” in which demonic forces are seeking to blind us to the things of God (2 Cor. 4:4). This is something we are going to be needing to do in one form or another on a daily basis. Multiple times a day.

Let me offer a personal anecdote that will illustrate this. I was about to interview someone on a topic that I knew would get blowback from the Demonic realm. I was going on a walk praying my rosary before my guest arrived. While I was walking I slowly became aware of a sort of oppressive force. I felt sad and restricted, somehow. Anxious. I’m not sure how long I was feeling that way, but at any rate I didn’t become conscious of it until that moment. I stopped walking and tried to sum up what I was experiencing in a word. It clicked. intimidation. That’s was it. I felt intimidated. And so I said the following prayer:

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